Some people feel nervous and super scared when meeting people they don’t know for the first time. This can happen also in long distance relationships when the relationship started over the internet, and they finally meet in person for the first time.
Several people may feel somehow terrified and anxious, sounds anything like you? Don’t worry, this blog is all about explaining why someone might get scared when meeting their long distance boyfriend for the first time, and what things you can do to cope with it.
When you initiate a new romantic long-distance relationship, things can be pretty exciting and interesting. But if you met over the internet, the kind of relationship you’ve built is virtual, not the in-person type. So you might ask yourself, “Why am I scared to meet my long distance boyfriend?” well the answer is simple, the reason why you can feel scared to meet your long distance boyfriend is because you just haven’t built that kind of trust yet. Remember this, a relationship doesn’t come out of nowhere, it’s built. You just haven’t built that part of the relationship yet if you haven’t met in person. And that’s okay, you can start building it. This can help you understand why you might not feel comfortable with him around just yet, it’s because you don’t even know what that’s like, it’s something unknown.
So logically, what you should do is start building that kind of trust so that you feel comfortable with him in person. Nevertheless, you’re probably still going to feel scared in the process of building this trust, that’s why you’re gonna need tools to manage the fear so that it doesn’t sabotage your purpose, which is to not feel scared anymore about this, and feel comfortable.
Here are 5 great things that can help you cope with this fears or nerves in the best possible ways:
- Accept the fear & the nerves
- Understand Relationships are built
- Make a little surprise
- Plan activities and conversations you would like to have
- Be nice, and be yourself
After learning more in depth each one of this 5 things you’re going to be a pro and super prepared when it comes to be as confident as you can be when meeting your long distance boyfriend for the first time.
1. Accept the fear & the nerves
Accepting the emotion is the first step into being able to manage it. It’s totally possible to manage an emotion, but it’s impossible to destroy it.
The emotion is there, and will be there, so the best thing you can do is to be conscious and aware about it. This is not a bad thing at all, it’s a very healthy practice.
Now, there’s something very important to understand. If you feel a certain way, it does not automatically make it the appropriate way to act according to your purpose. So, accept the emotion, but don’t act upon it. Instead, act steady, calm and with confidence.
If you feel scared, that does not mean that you should communicate that to him. It wouldn’t be strategic for you to communicate that. Instead, try to communicate things that will help you attain your purpose, which is to feel comfortable and confident around him. You might want to transmit things like confidence and security.
2. Understand Relationships are Built
Every relationship is built, little by little.
When you come to get him at the airport you might not have built yet the kind of relationship were a super romantic kiss is appropriate. You might have, but the context is going to dictate that.
If it’s your first time meeting, don’t panic if a kiss like that doesn’t happen right away. In fact, that would be totally normal. Because you might be just not there yet, but you’ll get there as you build the relationship, and the beauty of doing it like that, is that it will be sustainable, because it has been built.
When you’ve built a relationship, it gives you peace and calmness. You don’t have to feel scared or nervous about them not being comfortable with you as before you built this kind of trust.
So instead of panicking about feeling scared or nervous, understand that’s totally normal if you haven’t build that kind of relationship yet. You can build it. Everybody goes through this.
Understanding this can hopefully make some of that fear or nerves go away. Which will impact positively the dynamic when you meet him.
3. Make a little surprise
Little details count, and they count a lot.
So you can look for things that you know would make him happy.
Things like, taking him to eat to a restaurant he likes, getting him his favorite chocolate or a ticket to a concert or to watch his favorite sports team. This can be anything, just make sure you focus on what he would like, not what you would like.
He can focus on you, but if you want a positive outcome, get him something you know he will like. This can help to break the tension if there is.
4. Plan Activities & Conversations you would like to have
If you’re not yet comfortable in person, then a very smart thing to do is to plan out activities to do. This will focus your attention in other things so you can slowly start to feel more comfortable with each other.
Activities help to take the tension away and have fun both at the same time. Here are some great ideas of activities you can do with him:
- Visit the zoo
- Go to a sports game
- Play board games or video games
- Go to a concert
- Visit a museum
- Go to a music play
- Have a picnic
- Go to your or his favorite restaurant
- Watch a class of something you’re both interested in
- Present to him your friends & family
Besides this, also think about topics that you would like to talk about. Having questions about certain things or topics you would like to know his input about can be a great strategy so that you avoid awkward moments.
To avoid uncomfortable or awkward moments you should prepare yourself. Firstly, you should try to connect with him so that the conversation flows about 1 topic. Try to focus on 1 topic at a time when talking and get as deep as you can. This will help you build a strong mind connection. Secondly, have some pre thought topics or questions that you would like to talk about in case an awkward silence comes around.
Be Nice & Be Yourself
When you behave in a nice way, you’re going to invite the same kind of treatment back, unless the other person doesn’t know how to treat you and in that case you need to establish boundaries.
But generally speaking you’ll be much better off by being nice because it’ll make the relationship better.
Now, you might be focused on doing everything perfect that you could forget to be yourself. That’s why is really important to give priority too to be yourself. Make sure that’s a likable version of yourself, being yourself does not mean throwing attitudes and acting upon every emotion that you get.
Just the positive ones that will help you obtain the purpose that you want. Which is to have a relationship were you are comfortable and happy.
Being yourself is very important as long as you express it in a constructive way, since it will make you feel comfortable in the relationship & will make you more likable and appreciated.
After doing this you will gain confidence. Which will make you feel more comfortable in the relationship.
In conclusion, this are some of the best things you can do to be as prepared as you can be to lower your fears and nerves of meeting your long distance boyfriend for the first time.
What do you do when you meet your long distance boyfriend?
If you’re wondering what do you do when you meet your long distance boyfriend, don’t worry, there’s many things you can do, since there’s so much he doesn’t know about where you live. Some of the best are the following:
- Show him around: Show him were you grew up, the places you most frequently visited, your school, etc.
- Have different types of dates: picnics, date nights, movie dates, etc.
- Do activities you both like: watch a sports match, go to the zoo, play a game, etc.
- Talk and try to get to know each other more
- Go to touristic places
- Cook a meal or dessert together
- Watch a class of sometime or enroll on a course together
- Go to the movies
- Introduce him to your family & friends
Is it normal to have anxiety in a long-distance relationship?
When you’re in a long distance relationship, you tend to feel more vulnerable to negative thoughts. In most long distance relationships is normal to experience some kind of anxiety at different points throughout the relationship. Nevertheless this anxiety can be overcome and should be overcome.
The way to overcome this anxiety, is by providing safety to each other. If you show care and loyalty, the anxiety will lower if the person is being objective.
This post was all about understanding why you might feel scared when meeting your long distance boyfriend, and looking at some of the best things you can do to cope with this feelings that everyone in a Long distance relationship should know about.
