Being in a relationship is something amazing when things are going well, but if you’re like most people, it can get pretty anxious when your significant other doesn’t take care of you in a good way. If your Girlfriend doesn’t make time for you, you may feel anxious. And that’s okay, that’s totally normal. Don’t worry, as a certified Romantic Relationships graduate I am going to help you understand why your girlfriend doesn’t make time for you.
You’re gonna learn about the most common reasons why this happens, all the things you can do to fix it and more.
After learning about this 5 main reasons and all the tips to help you influence your girlfriend in a positive way, you’re going to be a pro and really prepared to do all the things you can do to influence your girlfriend to make enough time for you.
This post is all about the 5 reasons why your girlfriend doesn’t make time for you & the best ways to solve this problem that everyone in a relationship should know about.
1. She’s Truly Busy
This could totally happen works all day or specially if she studies and works both at the same time. Also, if she’s a high performance athlete of some kind, is in a bunch of classes or has a lot of things going on in her life. It’s really for you to evaluate and see if there’s anything that could be taking her time away and making her pretty busy. If you can’t find anything, then move on to the next common reasons. If it is tho, here’s how to fix it.
How To Fix it:
Don’t make it about you, rather, try to see how you can help her get more free time. Also, talk to her about the importance of having quality time in a relationship and tell her that it would mean a lot to you if she could make some more time for both of you. Tell her that you are just trying to have a better relationship with her because you care about her. Don’t be pushy, don’t play victim, and aim at a solution.
2. She has other Priorities above You
This has to do with how she arranges her hierarchy of values. A hierarchy of values is basically the levels of importance that you give to your values. A value can be a subject, and object or an idea. If she’s giving other people more priority (putting them in a higher level of her hierarchy) she’s living in what we call a contradiction. Since you’re supposed to be one of the closest people to her, she should put you in some of the highest levels, objectively speaking.
This can happen by patterns of behavior that she learned from her family or by mistake and she’s not aware of it. Here’s what you can try to do to fix this.
How To Fix it:
How to make yourself a priority to your girlfriend? The crucial thing is to not make it about you, make it about her, communicate to her that it’s against herself and the relationship to not have you as a priority, since a relationship is meant to be that way. This is a totally reasonable argument. Also, don’t be pushy, honestly this is the truth, but you can’t force her to give make you a priority, you can just advice her and say you care about the relationship and you would like this to change. But if she doesn’t change, we have to understand we can’t force her.
3. It’s Only About Her
This means that the relationship revolves around her. She’s the one that dictates when you guys are going to hang out, go out, text, call or do whatever activity. If this is the case you’re in what we call an irrational dynamic. This can be fixed but takes effort, hard work and willingness from the person that needs to change the most. Both need to change, but both need to be aware, because if it’s just 1 changing it won’t work. If this is the case then here are some recommendations on how to fix it.
How to Fix it:
- Give yourself more importance: Start by giving yourself more importance. Talk to her, and kindly communicate to her that it’s not working for you how she’s handling things. Some things need to change for the relationship to get better. Try to do some new agreements with her for the benefit of the relationship. If she doesn’t seem to her you can proceed to establish some more firm boundaries. Don’t say yes to everything she wants, give importance to what you want as well.
- Invite her to be fair: You can say it’s not fair that she’s the one that decides everything, is not convenient for anybody really because it puts your relationship in a irrational dynamic. Communicate to her that there should be justice in the relationship. Both need to have the same rights.
- Talk about Rights, Permissions and Privileges: Rights are basically every right that each person in society has, for example private property rights. Permissions are what a person establishes over his/her rights. For example you may give permission to a friend to stay the night over at your house. Privileges in this context means when someone takes what should be a permission as a right. Is like someone grabbed your car and acted as if it was his without your permission. This tends to happen in many areas of relationships very often and people tend to not notice.
4. She Doesn’t Want to be with you Anymore
If your girlfriend shows clear signs that she doesn’t want to be with you anymore, the best thing to do is to accept it, and accept is okay to feel really sad. Time will help to heal. Think about this, is not convenient for anybody to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with them. In the long term you’ll for sure won’t be happy. And if she’s very clear about this, there’s no much you can do.
How to Fix it:
Sadly there’s not much you can do here. But you can still try to do a couple of things. First give a step back, she will notice that you are not the same anymore. Don’t act the same way, take some emotional distance. Secondly, communicate to her indirectly that you will be totally okay if this ends, even if you are not going to be in the short term, you will for sure in the long term. This is going to make her appreciate you as someone with more value. Which you have, we’re not trying to manipulate here.
Thirdly, if she brings it up, tell her that you will absolutely respect her choice if she wants to leave the relationship even tho that’s not what you would want but you understand if that’s what she wants and it’s a valid choice. Respecting someone’s choice of leaving a relationship does exactly the opposite of someone begging the other person to stay in it. That just takes a lot of value from you, this gives you a lot of value as a respectful person. Which could cause her to change her mind since you’re so valuable.
5. There’s Someone Else
This is the saddest possible reason out of the 5. But it’s a possible reason. And you should be as equipped as possible to confront a situation of this type. The first thing to do is to look for more clues before doing a final verdict. This is a possibility but you have to be completely sure.
If someone cheated on you, there are some crucial things you need to know:
- That Speaks Bad about them, NOT about you: When someone gets cheated on, they usually think it’s their fault. But actually, there is no moral justification for someone to cheat. For a very simple reason, that wasn’t their only option. They could’ve talked with their partner about it, get counseling, or in the worst scenario leave the relationship before going on with someone else. It speaks bad about THEM, not about you. You are okay, it will hurt, but knowing and believing this can help a lot.
- You’re not alone, this can happen to anyone
- Everything will be okay, if not now, for sure eventually
- You’re gonna go through the process of grief
