Your boyfriend doesn’t matter what you do, seems to be low most of the time. You try to cheer him up, but you hardly find it effective. Is like he’s in a constant defeated state of mind, not motivated or happy, but depressed.
If this sounds anything like you don’t worry, in this post we will cover the best things you can do to cheer him up and help him get out of this depression. Which is totally possible.
When someone you care struggles with depression it can be very tempting to try to help them in every way you can. This is not a problem if you know what you’re doing, but without proper knowledge, it can be rather frustrating. That’s why knowing how to help your bf with depression before trying to help him is very important. If you are wondering how to help your bf with depression, there are several things that go into that, which are:
- He needs to be aware that he has depression
- Learn about depression
- Identify what could be causing it
- Encourage him to get treatment
- Try to inspire him to get out of it
- Establish small goals for getting out of it
- Be a support knowing your goal is that he becomes a stronger person
Dealing with someone with depression can be challenging and you need to be aware that you can and probably will get frustrated several times. But it’s something that people can totally get out of and that with proper treatment and help can be overcome.
After learning each of this steps in more detail you’re going to be much better prepared to encounter this situation in the best possible way.
This post is all about how to help your bf with depression that every girlfriend in this situation should know about.
1. He needs to be aware that he has depression
Whenever you want to solve a problem, the first step is to accept that the problem exists and needs to be addressed. For this to happen the person needs to work on self awareness.
So what you have to make sure as a start is that he knows he has depression. If he’s not aware yet then you can calmly suggest it, and try to make him think about it.
However you should know that it might be hard for a person to admit he/she has a problem. Therefore you can try to not make it seem severe, because it’s not, it can be treated. And try to say it in a calm way.
You can say something like, “Look, I’ve noticed that you’ve been low for quite a long time now, and I don’t want that for you, I want you to be happy. And therefore I think it’d be important to make sure you are feeling good, and if you aren’t to see why is that”.
You don’t even need to mention the word depression as a start. You kinda have to build up to it, if depression is the case. Try to say it in the most loving way you can, but still say everything that needs to be said.
2. Learn about Depression
If you want to help him with homework for math class for example, you need to know about math. It’s the same with depression.
There’s a broad variety of symptoms, such as: feeling hopeless, defeated, not motivated, loss of interest about life, etc. The principle is that there’s an overall feeling of low energy, sadness and lack of motivation. Suicidal thoughts can also be the case, which are led by a crisis of self esteem.
Getting out of depression can take months, so don’t worry about seeing quick results. Rather, concentrate on doing everything possible to help it little by little.
3. Identify what could be causing it
Depression is almost always a consequence of something that happened. Is not out of nowhere, there’s a cause. Depression can happen when you lose a value.
So look around at possible reasons why it could be happening. Maybe he feels lonely, maybe he doesn’t like certain aspects of his life, maybe he’s hurt or maybe he’s mad towards someone or something.
The point of identifying this is to determine if it’s something that can be changed, or that can’t be changed.
If it can’t be changed, then accept it so that you can focus on what can be changed.
If I work on the things I can change, I will not live frustrated but proud.
When I help someone understand that there can be reasons why he feels a certain way, he can start to understand that he’s not crazy and that it can be totally normal to feel those ways. Is not that there’s something wrong with him, is that something happened and it caused him to start feeling this ways.
4. Encourage him to get treatment
Getting treatment by a professional it’s key to overcome depression more effectively and faster.
There’s many things that can be worked on during sessions that you won’t be able to cover. It is also healthier for you as his girlfriend to let this in the hands of a professional.
You will feel much less stressed and relieved if you know that he’s addressing the issue with a professional.
It’s highly recommendable that he gets treatment from a professional and not of his girlfriend. You can still help, but if you’re his primarily help it can most times not work.
5. Try to inspire him to get out of it
If he’s depressed odds are he’s not going to have much hope or motivation to try to get out of it.
So here’s were you come in and you try as best as you can to motivate him to improve himself and get out of a vicious circle.
You can say things like “wouldn’t you want to enjoy life and make the best out of it?” or “I want to make the best out of my life, I’m going to work on some of my goals starting this week”.
You working on your own goals and your own happiness will certainly have an impact that will make him more likely to want to do the same.
Don’t underestimate the influence that you can have on them, if you’re one of the closest people to him you are one of the people that can influence him more effectively.
6. Establish small goals to get out of it
If he wants some tips on how to get out of depression, having small goals to accomplish everyday is something that’s highly recommendable.
For example, you can say well what’s something that you’ve been wanting to work on. It can be many things, from learning a new skill, like a language or an instrument, to working on a life project. Also things like working on having more meaningful relationships could be.
A key goal that he should have is to do exercise. Because exercise can be very beneficial for someone with depression. Since it regulates your hormones so that they work properly.
Working out can have the same effects of taking an anti depressant medicine.
Also, diet plays a key role on mental health. Eating healthier can help with depression and mental problems. Specially having a low sugar diet with healthy fats and healthy carbs.
If we can summarize this, he needs to focus on mainly 4 things:
- Identify goals that he wants to accomplish and break those down to small steps
- Do some type of work out every day
- Eat healthy
- Have therapy sessions
7. Be a support with the goal of helping him become a stronger person
Just be there for him. The process is going to be difficult, but having a close support can really help.
However, know that your goal should not be to make him dependent of you. Rather, an independent, strong, healthy person that you share life with.
Building his self esteem is going to be key so that he can get out of this. And the better his self esteem is, the better relationship you both will have.
Having that said, it is important that throughout the process you take care of yourself too with proper boundaries so that you don’t get burned out.
And someone that can help a lot with those boundaries is a professional therapist.
For the benefit of the relationship. Is not good if he isolates in you, it’s important that he looks for other people as well, friends and family. This will improve your relationship, and will make it healthier. Because he will be healthier.
In conclusion, getting out of depression is a process that can be difficult but it’s not impossible.
This post was all about how to help your bf with depression to get out of it that every girlfriend in this situation should know about.
